Tim Miles Sport Director Application

From The Iron N Exec Team:

In early October, shortly after the application window for winter sport student section directorships (including The Red Zone) closed, we received one very unusual late applicant...


Name: Tim Miles

Grade: Senior or above

Sports Applying for: Men’s Basketball

Order of Preference: Men's Basketball

Why are you applying to be a sport director with The Iron N?:

I am applying for the position as Winter Sports Director because I love basketball. In fact, I've spent the last 20+ years at various colleges closely following their basketball teams.  I want to use my passion to create and lead a thundering army of fanatics so great, even creatures like Badgers, Wolverines, Knights, Turtles, General People from Indiana, and Eyes of Hawks and Bucks will cower. I also know Bill Murray so Gophers shouldn't be an issue either.  Ok, I don't know him "personally" but I've seen all his movies.  I frequently yell "It's in the hole!" when Shavon Shields shoots.

Additionally, I've been in close contact with the coaching staff and know the effect the Red Zone can have on a game.  I believe under my leadership we can create the craziest basketball atmosphere since... EVER.  

Why would you make a great sport director?:

I've been to every Husker game (home and away) for the last two years.  Haven't missed a single one!!  I even sneak into the arena and locker room hours before the game because I never have a ticket and want to save my front row seat.  Some say I'm obsessed, I say "That's why I'm the right man for this job."

At the games, I spend much of my time yelling, jumping and waving my arms.  When I get really excited, I'm all fists of fury - which is why I own two Copper Fit elbow sleeves.  If that's not dedication then it doesn't exist.  But, I also think outside the box.  For example, I sat on No Sit Sunday, on two separate occasions.

Lastly, I have a very open relationship with the referees.  In 20 years, I've only been "asked" to leave one time.  Coincidently, that's the only time they didn't agree with me either.

What ideas, if any, do you have for improving the student section of the sport(s) you've applied for?:

I'm not much for face or body painting but I do like to go commando for gamedays.  It really gives that level of freedom that I need for inspiration.  I think a tradition like this would take the Red Zone to the next level. 

Other incredible ideas that I have include: 

Confetti cannons

Lasers (lots of lasers, you can never have too many - just ask Skrillex next week)

Hawks

Laser hawks

Hawks with lasers

Dread Head Night for Petteway and Rivers

Cat Night so Bo Pelini will come to a game 

Dogs throwing frisbees to humans

Outback Night for Coach Harriman (Bloomin Onions for everyone, I love those things!!!)

Put my twitter handle on the back of every jersey, even the opponents

What previous involvement, if any, have you had in The Iron N?:

I credit myself with helping all the fans get free Runzas 11 times last year alone.  Nothing is guaranteed in life, but I'm pretty much guaranteeing Runzas again this year.  And no Nebraskan can resist free Runzas - that's a scientific fact people!!

I have also taken an unnatural amount of selfies with the Red Zoners.  They love me, I love me.  It just works.

Thank you for your consideration, and looking forward to hearing from you soon. 


Miles. Out.